Cherished Time
For the last couple of weeks Greyson and I have alternated being ill. The upside of this is...we have gotten to spend quite a bit of time together...much enjoyed time reading the same books over and over, playing with choo-choo's, doing pesos (puzzles), making tents with blankets, napping, kissing and hugging, watching lots of Caillou, and generally just enjoying each other.
Monday, when it was time for him to return to school, he literally begged, pleaded (and then screamed) for me not to take him to school. The saddest (and well, sweetest) part of this was him holding me, turning my face to his, and with huge alligator tears telling me...
"No school, Mommy...not today...no school. Stay with Mommy, go with Mommy, no school today Mommy, Peeeeeaaaase"
Unfortunately, I must work and so struggled with taking him into school, kicking, screaming and fighting every step of the way until I finally left him crying in the teacher's arms (a teacher I can't stand nonetheless)...
When Daddy got there to pick him up that evening, he was still angry, fussy and generally in a sour mood.
Tuesday, similar to Monday although not nearly as intense. However, we made it to the car without much fight. Getting out of the car was another story, so Mommy was very late to work as she sat in the car, holding the most precious little boy in the world who very calmly said...
"Mommy, car on...go dat way (pointing away from school of course), no school today Mommy Peeeeaaaase. No school today."
We sat there talking about life and how we all have to do things we don't want to do (and at 37, I still don't think this is really fair). I heard myself saying things that I know make little sense to a two and a half year old but are no less true. If nothing else I wanted him to know there is nothing I would have loved more than to spend my whole day with him, playing, snuggling, laughing and enjoying each other...
So, we'll see how today goes...maybe Daddy can take him this morning... as for me, I'm anxiously awaiting my next sick day (or at least a day I can PLAY sick)...
posted by Tammy Heinz | 6:17 AM
2 Comments:
Dear Tammy, that was beautifully written! I assume you are back in your home and that James is still a major part of your life. Thanks for including me. Sometimes I miss volunteering for you--
Fondly, Sarah
Nobody ever said lie would be fair and leaving a child in the care of strangers when he/she desperately wants to be with mommy or daddy is without a doubt the MOST unfair experience for both the child AND the parent. It hurts from both ends. The child feels abandoned and the parent spends the hours away from the child feeling guilty. As we all know you can't do much about feelings, they just are.
Your blog, "what a funny word for these editorial inspirations", is well written and leaves the reader with complete understanding of how hard these days are for you. As your mother, I will tell you, it does get better, but I still, to this very day, when you leave my house, want to hold on to you and say to you, "you stay, no go...puleeeeeeeezzzzzeeee".
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